'My mother is dead - and it's the best news I've ever had': Tabitca
Thursday, 07 August 2014 - 15:15
So here I am, aged 59, and officially an orphan. My father died 12 years ago and I went to the funeral, grieved, missed him, did all the things you do when you lose a parent.
Now my mother has gone too, but hold your condolences. This time, it feels very different. I won’t be going to the funeral. I won’t send flowers. The only thing I want to do is dance, for I am glad.
I heard that she was dead last month. There were no tears. I went to bed feeling pure relief. I slept well. The next morning I logged onto Facebook and wrote: ‘Ding, Dong, the witch is dead.’
I know this sounds callous, appalling. Maybe I should feel guilty about my lack of grief, but I don’t. All I feel is that the black cloud that has been overhead for all of my life is gone, and I can see the sun.
My mother didn’t love me. The truth is, she never cared if I was dead or alive. As a child I tried my best to impress her, make her proud of me, like me a little. But she was incapable.
She wasn’t warm. She never praised. Not once did she ever say: ‘I love you’. Instead, she found fault. She shouted. Mostly I remember her shouting.